With four weeks left until my due date beauties and beasts, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection that has led me to really appreciate a lot of things that maybe I didn’t as much before.
Two people I keep thinking about in particular are my parents, most likely because I’m about to become one myself. I’ve never really sat down and thought about every little thing they have done for my brothers and I. I love them both like crazy but I’ve always been a daddies girl and I don’t think that’ll ever change to be honest. Seeing any fault in him has always been merely impossible even though he is far from perfect, though aren’t we all aye. Dad was never really the emotional type to show his affection towards me unless he’d had a drink yet I always knew I was his favourite, I still am, even though my younger brother would argue against that but that’s fine, me and dad know the truth.
I spent years favouring my dad over my mum and showing dad a lot more love than I ever did mum. Mum and I weren’t really the best of friends, we practically spent all our time arguing, it’s quite embarrassing and upsetting to remember the things I used to say to her. Now that I’m four weeks away from giving birth to my own little angel, I’m realising just how much she did for us. She always said to me that I’d only understand her once I had kids of my own, well she was right, just like she has been about most things; wouldn’t she love to hear that! Both my mum and dad made plenty of mistakes along the way, causing me and my siblings a lot of pain, yet as I embark on my own journey to motherhood I’m pretty sure I’ll make a few of my own. Parenthood most certainly does not come with a guideline book, as cool as that sounds, everyone is facing a challenge of their own so a guideline book wouldn’t work anyway!
Regardless of some dysfunctional situations we faced at home, mum and dad never turned their backs. They chose to keep fighting for their kids, chose being the important word. We all have choices to make in life and everyday they made the same choice of putting their kids first. I hardly saw dad around when I was younger even though he lived with us but he was out making the cheddar like my partner Scott would say. Yes, he spent a lot of it on alcohol but we never went without breakfast, lunch or dinner. Mum devoted everyday to being a mum before anything else, being our nurse, cleaner, cook, our most annoying yet best teacher and so much more. Now that I’m older I can say I would of liked my mum to look after herself a lot more than she did but that goes to show just how endless a mother’s love is. My parents showed their love and commitment in completely different ways and I’m grateful for both as it’s made me who I am today, dysfunctional yet functional!
Thank you mum for carrying me for 9 whole months not knowing I’d only be a headache, thank you for teaching me how to be compassionate, kind and honest. Thank you dad for never leaving, thank you for teaching me how to be strong, independent and determined, oh and for your money of course.
A parents love is the only love that is truly selfless, truly unconditional and truly forgiving.