Whilst we were signing the caesarean form, midwifes gathering what they needed and Scott changing into the clothes they gave him, the energy in the room shifted. The atmosphere became less serene and more edgy as we waited for the doctors to prepare the operating theatre room.
My epidural started to fade and I could feel those stabbing pains starting to creep up again but the midwifes couldn’t top me up as the doctors were going to give me anaesthesia to numb the bottom half of my body. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced a part of your body going numb and you have to move it around to get the blood flowing? It’s the most uncomfortable thing ever. Well that’s how my entire body felt from laying down in the same position for hours on end, the amount of epidural in my body and wearing those ridiculously tight hospital socks to prevent blood clots.
The whole of my being was a tight knot of tension, filled with every emotion imaginable as they wheeled me into the operating theatre. My body did not allow me to speak one word as I was in deep conversation with my mind, telling myself “you’ll be comfortable once they do the anaesthesia, it’ll all be over soon and most importantly, your going to meet your very own baby girl or boy”. Once the doctors were ready, they applied the anaesthesia which gave me an ice cold tingle sensation down my spine.
After a few minutes, they asked me if I could feel them pinching my stomach, I told them I could feel it but it didn’t hurt. They then informed me they were going to begin the process. The first cut felt so peculiar I just closed my eyes to ignore the obvious and refocused myself on waiting patiently for the moment I’d been craving for, for 9 months. After a while of pulling and tugging at my tummy, I suddenly felt a hand up near my chest tugging into me like a spade digging up sand, pulling my baby out leaving me weightless.
*baby cries*
My eyes sprung open as soon as I heard that first cry, I looked straight into Scott’s eyes and tears began shedding. Scott was convinced we were having a boy, to our amazement, we couldn’t hold in our excitement when they showed us a little baby girl. It was the most overwhelming moment of my life, a rush of love just tackling my heart. Whilst they stitched me up, Scott was able to cut her cord and hold his baby girl for the first time, before placing her on top of me so I could gaze in complete awe.
The midwives gave each her miniature ankles a white tag stating,
BABY VARGAS BORN 27/08/2017 AT 11:59AM.
Love,
L.V.
THE CONSCIOUS MUM 