Our skin to skin moments, our painfully beautiful breastfeeding sessions, our new-born days of non-stop smooches and snuggles – all feels like it was just yesterday. Time quickly vanished before my eyes, it’s only now it’s gone I realise how little of it we really had, yet in the moment it felt like it’d last a lifetime.
As each day goes by, and you get bigger, it’s the photos I look back on that remind me of just how fast your growing. I remember so vividly the days your dad and I would talk with great anticipation of you taking your first step/s, saying your first word and whether it would be mama or dada you’d say first. With great disappointment, I can confirm, you tortured me for an entire year with “dada” before saying “mama” – thanks. But it was quite impossible to hold that against you, as much as I tried, your sweet kisses and cuddles had me melt every-time.
A year and four months since we met for the first time and still I can’t put my love for you into words. Not even the distance of the moon, depth of the sea, or height of a mountain, could measure this love I feel for you. You quite literally came and knocked me off my feet, and instantly had me fall head over heels in love with you. Not only did you introduce a love I never knew could be, you blessed me; made my world sacred and whole again. Just when I thought I knew what love meant, the greatest plot twist of all, you arrived with my heart in your hands screaming, “I am your truest love, I am your heart and soul in the flesh, I am everything you need to succeed in this life of sin”.
Mama’s always had high hope’s and aspiration’s, envisioning a future of great success’ and achievements. Sometimes though, mama felt she couldn’t make it, lacked self belief and believed the doubts. Instead of persevering, many times I’ve backed down, allowing those fears to steer my manoeuvre’s. I’m not going to sell you a dream baby, you too will experience these moments of fear, doubt and question if your vision is even attainable. Life will get in the way and throw you some real difficult trials and tribulations, multiple phases of feeling lost and broken, alone and hollow, torn and fragile, and unfortunately my darling it doesn’t end there. As much as I’m doing my best to protect you, it’s a given. It’s this thing called life we must all walk through.
I’ve walked, I’ve wandered, and I’ve lost my way. You came into my life and put my tracks together again. Because of you I have no option but to stay sane and give back to you what you’ve given me, unconditional love and a life worth living. My angel, you changed my life in ways you couldn’t even imagine. Daddy and I were so proud and filled with excitement when you revealed your presence. You were truly meant to be. We’ve been convinced from the very beginning that you are here for a reason. Purpose is what your filled with, your greatness cannot go unseen, your energy leaves us in vibration, and the power of your presence is insane.
The possibilities are endless and the world is your oyster. There’ll come a time you’ll know what you want to do, or may even dib and dabble in different areas. That’s okay too. You might be tempted to try something new, learn a new skill, study something completely random, learn a language, or travel the world. Do it! Do it all! An idea might strike, might seem so far fetched and impossible, but if it’s imaginable, then it’s achievable. Don’t you ever forget that.
Fear of failing is completely natural, were humans, its part instinct, learned and taught. We’re taught that failing is unacceptable and looked down upon. Explains why we fear failing and why many don’t accept the challenge. But every time you ‘screw up’ or ‘fail’ trying to achieve something, pay very close attention, there’ll always be something for you to learn. And whatever it is you learnt, that’s what’s going to get you further when you try again, because you will try again.
Baby girl always listen to your soul, no one will ever know you better than yourself. There’ll be times you’ll lose momentum, like I said, life will make sure of that, but I’ll always be here to help you find your way. And if I’m not, you’ll have my strength, courage and love to guide you as you go. I’ll be so deeply injected in your heart you’ll know where to go. Your steps will align themselves as you continue your journey in life, chasing and creating your dreams in love and light. Peanut, mummy loves you so much it hurts, the sky is the limit and never settle for less than you deserve and that’s further than the universe.
Dream Big Myla,