HAPPY BIG THREE-OHH

I’ve heard turning 30 can be a strange feeling of mixed emotions, though I won’t pretend I know what it feels like because I really don’t ha. However, if there’s one thing I do know about turning 30, is that it is definitely a milestone in ones life and should be celebrated in style.

I knew from a long while ago that whatever I chose to do for your birthday, it had to be ‘dope’ as you would say. Not merely because of the fact you were turning 30 but because I felt you truly deserved to be appreciated, recognised and praised for the man, the father, the partner, the son and the friend you are, which is nothing short of amazing.

Not many people are aware of how our relationship began and I’m sure one day I’ll write about it. But for now, let’s just say, My biggest fear wasn’t telling my parents I was having a baby, my biggest fear was telling Scott. Fearing it was something he never wanted, fearing he didn’t want to be with me and fearing he wouldn’t have wanted to be apart of the babies life. Whilst having heart palpitations when I told you because I didn’t know what you were going to say, you then gave me even bigger palpitations when you held my hand because I didn’t anticipate anything close to that. To then hear you say that we were going to do this together and the night we met you felt I could be the one. I quite literally could not believe what you were saying yet everyday since you have proved time and time again that they were not empty words.

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CAESAREAN BABY

Whilst we were signing the caesarean form, midwifes gathering what they needed and Scott changing into the clothes they gave him, the energy in the room shifted. The atmosphere became less serene and more edgy as we waited for the doctors to prepare the operating theatre room.

My epidural started to fade and I could feel those stabbing pains starting to creep up again but the midwifes couldn’t top me up as the doctors were going to give me anaesthesia to numb the bottom half of my body. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced a part of your body going numb and you have to move it around to get the blood flowing? It’s the most uncomfortable thing ever. Well that’s how my entire body felt from laying down in the same position for hours on end, the amount of epidural in my body and wearing those ridiculously tight hospital socks to prevent blood clots.

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