On a day like today exactly four years ago, I was preparing to meet you in person for the very first time. Since then, I’ve watched every milestone, witnessed you becoming a big brother twice and very soon I will be walking you into your first day at school. I had to hit pause and reflect on the fact that I have been deep in the trenches of motherhood for the last four years. Four long, stressful, exhausting yet liberating years of my life. I had you and your brothers in a short space of time. Pregnancy, breastfeeding, postpartum depression, identity crisis, repeat, repeat, repeat. It has been an oxymoron of a journey as it has been slow and fast all at the same time. So much learning and growing, many moments of trial and error and figuring it out as I go along. Although there have been days where I wished for you to do things on your own – it is a bittersweet heartache watching you grow.
Continue reading A FIGHT FOR USCategory: Letters From Mum
DEAR ISAIAH & MICAH, NOW I UNDERSTAND
From the moment I lay eyes on the both of you it was an instant love that I cannot explain. Twin boys, I couldn’t have even imagined being blessed with such a gift.
However, from the day I met you, even though my love for you got stronger, I started to lose love for myself. Every inch of my body wanted to only love you two (and your dad of course) and I had none left for myself. For the first couple of months I didn’t notice, we were all in our little bubble with daddy but after some time the haze started to disappear and when I looked at myself I didn’t know the woman who was staring back at me.
Continue reading DEAR ISAIAH & MICAH, NOW I UNDERSTAND
DEAR JOSHY, THANK YOU
My Joshy,
First of all, thank you for choosing me to be your mummy. You were that blessing in disguise that I needed in my life.
What do I mean? Well mi gordo, I felt I needed to change my way of thinking, “I need to travel more, I need to change my social life”, but God had other plans and knew you were the addition that I needed.
Continue reading DEAR JOSHY, THANK YOU
EVERYTHING CHANGED
When I went to confirm my pregnancy and the doctor congratulated me, it took me a whole minute to realise she wasn’t being sarcastic.
Continue reading EVERYTHING CHANGED
MY DEAREST RYAN JR.
My first born, you were so wanted from day one, you had my heart from the first time I saw that blue line that was barely there.
Being your and your sister’s mother has been the biggest achievement in my life. I adore you.
10 years ago when you were placed in my arms I knew that I wanted to be the best mum ever. I knew I wanted to give you every chance in life for you to succeed. I knew that this wasn’t going to be an easy task but I’ll do my best to make sure that you fulfil every dream you had.
Continue reading MY DEAREST RYAN JR.
LETTER TO MALIQ
Dear beautiful Maliq… First of all, let me tell you how deeply in love I am with you! The moment I found out I was pregnant I sat on my bed bawling… not because I wasn’t happy but because I was in complete shock.
I was scared, but I knew I was destined to be your mother, I had no choice but to give you life.
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THE CONSCIOUS MUM 