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I never imagined ever reaching a point in my life where I’d own the title, ‘single mum’. A wedding, a beach wedding to be precise and a never ending fairy tale love was what I unquestionably believed awaited me. I blame Disney. And though many are blessed enough to experience the magical dream, many are not so fortunate.

Though I still carry hope that one day I may just find my Prince Charming who’ll love me forever, bless me with his name and grow old together. The dream just isn’t that simple anymore. No longer is it just I they’ll need to love, but me and mine they’ll need to cherish. I come as a package, it’s not just me you’ll need to learn about. And if it’s only half the package you desire, then we can go no further. You see now, the dream just isn’t that simple anymore. Once it was all so simple and something I wanted, but finding love just isn’t on my agenda anymore. The heartache of my family break up still breaks me daily till this day.

Continue reading ONE YEAR LATER…

I remember feeling numb after being shown the scans and hearing the confirmation of my diagnosis, “Miss Vargas, what you can see in these scans are ulcers in your colon which is causing the inflammation. We can confirm you have Ulcerative Colitis. It is not curable but you will be given medication to manage the symptoms”. Calm and collected, seemingly grateful if anything, is how I presented whilst listening to the Dr tell me how my life would change forever.

Continue reading LITTLE PRINCESS TRUST

Everything stopped and panic took over – tears, screams, the lot. I never thought about what my reaction would be when Myla eventually had an accident, with blood! It was scary stuff that’s for sure. Being abroad as a solo parent made it all that bit more frightening – not knowing what immediate action to take.

Thankfully, my mother is usually a phone call away, when she decides to answer her phone that is. She has been a nanny for as long as I can remember and is first aid qualified for small children/babies. So of course, I called her straight away and her reassuring response was quick to calm me down, though I cried mostly Continue reading PEANUT’S FIRST BLOODY ACCIDENT

Ambition has always been one of my strongest traits, one that has helped me find my way back on track when I’ve lost sense of direction. So, when I was pregnant and people would say “your life is going to change, your dreams and aspirations will go down the drain”, it would hit a nerve and I’d say “no actually, my baby will only inspire me to continue”. But behind these words, it was needless to say, as much as I loved the kicks and the bump, I was frightened for if it really were the end to my progression in my profession.

During pregnancy though, I made it my sole focus to enjoy my ever-growing womb – ensuring this tiny human in creation felt good vibes from early. I may not have planned to become a mum so soon but I always knew I would try my very best when it was time. I was very well aware that a child’s development does not begin once they’re born, the foetus’s brain starts forming just three weeks after conception. An unborn baby will sense any stress which will affect them, putting them at risk of things like depression, however, positive emotions will embed strength and wellness. Which is why I told her I loved her the minute her existence was revealed and don’t go a day without telling her she’s strong, smart and beautiful.

Continue reading FAR FROM PERFECT BUT THAT’S THE MOTHERHOOD JOURNEY

Despite the fact the luxury of laying for hours on end under the sun doesn’t happen anymore and days in the sun now consist of finding shade after quarter of an hour so I don’t roast my baby – it has been heart warming watching my peanut splash around freely in the paddling pool, make a mess whilst eating fresh juicy strawberry’s and relax effortlessly when being pushed on the swing. Priceless moments!

All whilst I’d love to have peanut in the sun all day, selfishly of course, so my vitamin D needing skin can soak up all the sun it can get, sun coverage is a must. Though, staying out of the sun is probably the safest option for me anyway as I’m negligent when it comes to protecting my own skin from sun damage because somehow I think sun protection stops me from catching a tan, when in reality it doesn’t stop you from tanning, it protects you from burning – my logic, ridiculous I know.

Continue reading KEEPING MY BABY SAFE WHILST HAVING FUN IN THE SUN

A cold sensation travelled through my body, down my spine and across my arms when I heard the news. You’ve never been the hug type but we both know I am and in that moment I wanted to squeeze you so tight – a reminder that though we drifted, my love for you remains untouched and here I am whenever I can.

My heart completely goes out to my dear friend Continue reading IN ORDER FOR CHANGE TO HAPPEN WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER