When I went to confirm my pregnancy and the doctor congratulated me, it took me a whole minute to realise she wasn’t being sarcastic.
Continue reading EVERYTHING CHANGEDTag: motherhood
BITTERSWEET CO-PARENTING TRUTHS
It’s something I could never have prepared for, a family dynamic I never imagined would be mine. A constant contrast between love and hate – forever searching for the middle ground. I’ve found it to be one of the hardest things I’ve experienced to date. I know some people who co-parent are best-friends say it wasn’t without it’s battles, it’s a struggle, it’s a process and an ongoing challenge. Becoming best friends from a state thought of as irreparable is undoubtedly a process, a process I’m regularly questioning the reality of.
Continue reading BITTERSWEET CO-PARENTING TRUTHS
LETTER TO MALIQ
Dear beautiful Maliq… First of all, let me tell you how deeply in love I am with you! The moment I found out I was pregnant I sat on my bed bawling… not because I wasn’t happy but because I was in complete shock.
I was scared, but I knew I was destined to be your mother, I had no choice but to give you life.
Continue reading LETTER TO MALIQ“IT SEEMED TO BE THE MOST NATURAL, PURIFYING AND MIRACLE LIKE WAY TO FEED A BABY “
Ashamed, guilty and embarrassed – is how I felt when I stopped breastfeeding Myla. The challenges I endured eventually won me over. I managed to breastfeed her for a little over two months if that, then decided that I could no longer continue; it became too distressing.
During pregnancy It was solidified in my mind Continue reading “IT SEEMED TO BE THE MOST NATURAL, PURIFYING AND MIRACLE LIKE WAY TO FEED A BABY “
CONSCIOUS OF THE SUBCONSCIOUS
With you I’m whole that’s why I keep chasing you. I’ve searched for you everywhere, in people, places and even objects. I thought I found you, but every time, you’ve been short lived – why can’t I find you?
Being the only girl in my family, other than mother, people would assume ‘princess of the house’ was my character. I mean, I’d be lying if I said there were never moments where yes, mum, dad and David treated me like royalty. However, far from erasing the frequent and high in complexity turbulence’s that stuck to me like hot glue during my years of development, years of confusion, loneliness and escapism.
Continue reading CONSCIOUS OF THE SUBCONSCIOUSSWEET POTATO, APPLE AND CINNAMON MASH MADE IN LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR
Now that Myla is officially 6 months, she has begun her weaning process which has been exciting, though I’ve never done this before so I’ve also felt like I don’t know where to start. So, I started by giving her fruit and veg puree every now and again for the past month because she was showing signs of readiness to try some solids. No surprise, she absolutely loved it – both Scott and I are big lovers for food so not one bit shocking that she is too.
Jarred baby food is so convenient and has been for me, especially as a first time mum not knowing what I’m doing half the time – it’s a good go to. However, I also think making baby food if/when there is time, is a much healthier option for bubba. To begin with I thought making baby food would take me forever, which I didn’t want because I feel as though all I do is clean, cook and repeat as it is. But you’d be surprised – making sweet potato mash has never been so quick and simple. I added apple and cinnamon to make it a tad bit sweet but there is also a savoury option which I’ll be making next.
Continue reading SWEET POTATO, APPLE AND CINNAMON MASH MADE IN LESS THAN HALF AN HOURCOMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY
You don’t get a manual when your baby is born, however you’ll still get told all the do’s and don’ts of motherhood. Once Myla was born, without delay, family, friends, midwifes, fellow mothers insisted I breastfed her, “formula doesn’t have the nutrients and healthy stuff that your breastmilk has so you can’t take that away from her”. I tried, i really did. Truth is recovering from a C-section and learning how to breastfeed became way too challenging. So I stopped. I knew I would be judged, I knew of others who were able to breastfeed for a lot longer than I did and I knew breastmilk was the best for my baby. So inevitably guilt grew within me and it was merely unbearable.
As a mum when unable to do something you ‘should’ be doing or do differently to others, that’s when comparison can drive you insane; because I start to question if I’m doing a good job, I start to think they are doing better than me, I start feeling guilty for something and I start to fear being judged. The crazy thing is, there will always be something. Should I give her a dummy or not? So and so does or so and so doesn’t. Should I not be rocking her to sleep? Should she be sleeping on her own by now? How did that mum’s body recover so fast? How does that mum look good all the time? and How does that mum juggle everything so well?
Continue reading COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY2ND TRIMESTER
Hey Beauties and Beasts, how you doinggg? I hope you are all happy, healthy and making the most of these warm days we’ve been lucky to have. Even though it’s not that hot, I die as soon as I get out, feeling like a melting snowman wanting to just get back inside yet I’ll be the first to complain when it’s a tad bit cold.
I swear time does not slow down for nobody, I’ve always felt days just pass me by but how time has flown by during pregnancy is something else. I can’t believe I’m already in my third trimester with only a few weeks left, absolutely mental!
Continue reading 2ND TRIMESTER
THE CONSCIOUS MUM 