Ambition has alway been one of my strongest traits, one that has helped me find my way back on track when I’ve lost sense of direction. So, when I was pregnant and people would say “your life is going to change, your dreams and aspirations will go down the drain”, it would hit a nerve and I’d say “no actually, my baby will only inspire me to continue”. But behind these words, it was needless to say, as much as I loved the kicks and the bump, I was frightened for if it really were the end to my progression in my profession.
Despite the fact the luxury of laying for hours on end under the sun doesn’t happen anymore and days in the sun now consist of finding shade after quarter of an hour so I don’t roast my baby – it has been heart warming watching my peanut splash around freely in the paddling pool, make a mess whilst eating fresh juicy strawberry’s and relax effortlessly when being pushed on the swing. Priceless moments!
A cold sensation travelled through my body, down my spine and across my arms when I heard the news. You’ve never been the hug type but we both know I am and in that moment I wanted to squeeze you so tight – a reminder that though we drifted, my love for you remains untouched and here I am whenever I can.
Unsettling it is knowing that children around the world are still experiencing poverty, life threatening disease’, exploitation, war and so much more. Shamefully, I have so easily in the past dismissed videos or kept scrolling on social media when seeing things happening in parts of the world. Not because I’m cold and don’t care but because as saddening as these events are, I’ve always thought there’s nothing I can do to help – quite discouraging.
Ashamed, guilty and embarrassed – is how I felt when I stopped breastfeeding Myla. The challenges I endured eventually won me over. I managed to breastfeed her for a little over two months if that, then decided that I could no longer continue; it became too distressing.
With you I’m whole that’s why I keep chasing you. I’ve searched for you everywhere, in people, places and even objects. I thought I found you, but every time, you’ve been short lived – why can’t I find you?
Now that Myla is officially 6 months, she has begun her weaning process which has been exciting, though I’ve never done this before so I’ve also felt like I don’t know where to start. So, I started by giving her fruit and veg puree every now and again for the past month because she was showing signs of readiness to try some solids. No surprise, she absolutely loved it – both Scott and I are big lovers for food so not one bit shocking that she is too.